Ms. Melanie

I had a dream that I was in 6th grade. We had a substitute teacher one day. She was young and looked very excited and nervous.

The first thing she did was go around the room and ask everyone individually what their name was. Then she went back around the room and asked everyone their favorite hobby.

It was obvious she had no idea how to be a teacher. She sat at the front of the room on a chair. “James, you are wearing blue pants. Do you like blue pants?”

The class felt nervous. Ms. Melanie asked if we all had parents. Then she began drawing on the board and asking the kids if they liked her drawings.

She pointed to a girl. “Tiffany this morning I saw you fall and scrape your knee. Are you ok? Did you know that if there was toxic waste on the ground you could have super powers? You might be like Spider Man. Do you like Spider Man?”

The little girl stared at her blankly.

Next, Ms. Melanie wrote out homework on the board. ‘Write A Eight Chapter Story Then Write It On The Board For Us All’. She looked around the room at the confused faces.

She sat down, finally looking upset. “You kids would rather just leave, huh?”

Silence.

“Well then leave. It’s okay. Just walk home. Class dismissed early! Yay!”

It was 10:30 a.m. and she was telling us to walk home. As everyone packed up their things she began reciting ‘Shakespeare’.

“Father? If I am to be your father then I have a distrupted permission of it!” she said with much drama. (This is not a Shakespeare quote. It is nonsense. Ms. Melanie doesn’t know that, however.)

She glanced nervously at my desk as I packed up my belongings. “Robert, I, uh, well… I have something to ask. Would you be interested in going to the Bed Bath & Beyond Dance with me?”

My eyes opened wide. Go to a dance with a teacher? I looked around at the classmates around me. They were smiling and giggling and trying to cover it up. I gulped.

“Uh, okay. Sure, I’ll go. Yeah.”

She just smiled. I’ve always been too nice.

The end.

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